Almost Funny

I write (somewhat) jokes to unwind.

Ambiguity
People say I’m cute “in a quirky way.”
I think that means:
not quite cute,
but interesting enough to confuse the eye.
Like that romantic song—
You say it best when you say nothing at all.
Could mean:
“There’s something strange and beautiful in you
that words can't touch.”
Or:
“Shut up. Just shut up.”

Kindness is nice.
But it needs instruction.
I put some stuff we didn’t need,
on a table out front,
marked: “Free.”
Next morning,
the stuff was untouched.
The table was gone.
Devotion
Parenting is full-contact intimacy.
You give up sleep,
snacks,
your immune system.
In return, you get love—
and hand, foot, and mouth disease.
Unintended
I doubt
the inventor of the plastic bag
meant for it to last forever.
Which is exactly why it does.